One of our little grandmonkeys is a very picky eater. His mama fixed him a smoothie the other day
for breakfast. Normally you’d think this
would be a great surprise, and so yummy on a hot day.
Nope.
It was new and therefore inedible. Forget it.
Mama, however, has a lot of experience as head zookeeper,
and knows just what to do with little monkeys who won’t eat. “Did I say smoothie?” she asked. “I meant Breakfast Ice Cream. This is pink Breakfast Ice Cream.”
The Breakfast Ice Cream was gone in a flash.
Another mother tells of her daughter not wanting to eat
ravioli. She told Little Disgusted
Daughter that ravioli were really Pizza Pillows. Yum!
Disgust morphed into delight.
Didn’t all our parents tell us that broccoli were really
trees, and we were the giants? Didn’t
they tell us that carrots would give us X-RAY VISION? Wasn’t asparagus really Thunder Grass, and we
were dinosaurs? Of course, there is no
better name for grapefruit than the French word pamplemousse. My daughter
was 15 before she found out it wasn’t called that at Safeway.
The Sugar Pops cereal of my childhood (pleeeeeease Mommy, buy this) became Corn Pops. Healthier now? I think not. The kiwi used to be called Chinese gooseberry, which sounds suspiciously
like goose droppings. Around 1962, New Zealand growers rebranded it kiwi fruit,
which is exotic and at the same time cute.
Perfect. Canola oil used to be
rapeseed oil. Not buying THAT. Orange roughy fish used to be slimehead fish,
chilean sea bass used to be Patagonian toothfish, and sea urchins used to be whore’s
eggs. Sea snail can be legally marketed
as abalone.
Not all picky eaters are children though, witness me and
asparagus. Hubby’s father, Opa, was not
about to eat clam chowder. “Pah,” he said. “I want good food!” We told him we decided not to have clam
chowder that night, so I made homemade potato soup instead. Being a good German, he loves all things
potato-y. “Potato soup” was served and
he gobbled it up. Later we ‘fessed up
and admitted our renaming. To his
credit, the next time we went to Red Lobster, he ordered clam chowder, saying
it was his favorite.
So what are your renaming favorites?
