The Bright Flames of Leaders

I know a guy who tries to be a leader in a group of teenagers by pushing them around.  Pushing teenagers is like trying to push a string.  They fold up.

Another guy I know works with teenagers too on the Sea Scout Ship Odyssey.  He knows a lot about his field, and will demonstrate it and show them when asked.  He gives them rough outlines on what to do, then reiterates with expectations.  Following that, he turns them loose, becoming the safety net should they need it.  

I’ve been on many a sail as the cook, and love watching these kids come in as giggly fourteen year olds and morph into empowered youth who can sail among the freighters of Puget Sound and around rocks of the San Juan Islands.

Lao Tzu said to start with what people know, then build on that. The goal is to let the people do things themselves.

When our daughters were twelve, they asked for money for all sorts of things, including birthday presents for friends, special shampoo, and snacks.  It was a constant effort to evaluate their needs and the budget.  After much thought and number crunching, we finally came up with a figure that covered their monthly needs, including some mandatory offerings at church, savings, and school supplies.  It wound up being $100 per month.  This seemed like an insane amount of money to turn over to a twelve and fourteen year old.

I imagined in two months we were going to see piles of earrings, new clothes and magazines.

We continued to counsel them and drew out plans for what they might use their money on, but did not insist that they do it.  Well, except for putting some in the basket at church.

Not long after my daughter and I were at the store and she asked to go up the hair care aisle as she needed some shampoo.  I suggested that she purchase a certain brand.  Shocked, she stated, “Mom I can’t afford that brand.  I’ll get this one, it is good enough.”

To me it was like her leaping from one trapeze to the next and successfully completing a triple summersault in mid-air.

One of the obligations on the Odyssey is that the youth have to take command of the boat for 40 hours.  Once they have done that, they are never the same, and I love watching them walk over that bridge.  They light my way by their bright flames.